Please, let me fuck your mom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
