the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
