Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
