walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
