Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize