the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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