return my video game
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize