Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
