I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
