Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize