Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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