So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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