So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
