I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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