i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
