She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize