I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
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