idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
