I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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