What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
be right there i have to get my cape
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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