I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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