Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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(619): View more from California

You fucked that MILF against my car!

(415): View more from California

How would you know?

(619): View more from California

She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her

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(217): View more from Illinois

Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers

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