I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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