Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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