i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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