Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
