I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize