It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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