He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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