If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize