There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
