Umm I'm too high to move.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
