I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
