don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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