i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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