He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize