We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
