All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
