I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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