On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
false alarm, still single
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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