after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
