anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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