I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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