it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
