You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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