You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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