I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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