you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
