i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
