my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The uberlube is also flammable
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
