Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
