i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
