He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
