everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
