try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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