I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I touched a dick in church today
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
