He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
