This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize