Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
