Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
