It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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