Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she woke up with a sticky ear
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
