..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
